I have been talking about age alot lately. I guess it is happening, I have entered my mid thirties I guess I should start acting like it. But it hit me this morning, what effects age has done to me, and I am not talking physical, that is a whole other story and time that I probly won't share with you all!
But again, I am realizing h0w wonderful it is to truly begin to know yourself. It can also be scary. I am more and more aware of my faults, and in a strange way, knowing them makes them easier to accept and change if I ever decide I want to.
One fault that I believe I will be working on eternally is learning to be punctual. Seriously anyone who is reading this now and knows me is saying uh huh, about time you figured that one out! Sadly, I see myself in the spirit world, after life, and some great, great grandchild is coming and I will show up late for there welcome. Ok that was a little disturbing, but my point is, I am always late. It doesn't matter how much I prepare ahead of time, how early I get up, I am always late.....(side note, somehow I married a man, exactly like me in this area, my poor poor children) :)
Ok, I am going to take a moment to try to counter act those negative thought in case the "Secret" is true. **SMILE** **I am on time always** ** I make time to relax after prepareing to get ready** Hee hee!!! Ok, back to my thoughts....
BUT... what I am learning now is to let go of the reasons before that I hated being late. I hated disappointing other people, not because it would effect them, I still feel bad about that, but I would hate them thinking less of me. HELLO, anyone who knows me knows that I am this way, and I do still have a few people who love me and hang on to my life. :)
So this last year I am doing it for me, and for my kids, so I can attempt to change this for them. Not that I believe it is passed on, if that were the case, we would not even be having this discussion, my parents have ALWAYS been the type that if you were not 10 minutes early you are late. WHY COULDN'T THAT BE PASSED ON!! But I don't know someone could argue that I have always been a bit rebellious, maybe I am going against that, odd, though I don't think it is punishing my parents now, so what is the point!! :)
Anyway, I have been letting go of perfection and accepting my limitations. My Narcolepsy, really does make it difficult. One of the symptoms that not to many people are aware of is called Automatic Behavior. I may look like I am moving forward doing things, but my mind has shut down, what would normally take someone 10 minutes to do, I might do it in 35. So combine that crazy thing with the distractions of taking care of 4 kids at the same time... well it simply is a recipe for disaster. BUT... I am not giving up.
This morning, as I was dropping the boys off to school, mind you before the last bell had rung, the boys waved there goodbyes, breakfast in hand as they ran. This nice man, leaned over to my truck and said, "quick breakfast today huh?" In the past that would have crushed me. Who knows why, this man was really just trying to be funny and probably related since he too, was just now dropping them off. But today, as I drove away, I thought to myself. YES, that was a quick breakfast. But if he only knew, that we had seriously only woken up 12 minutes before that moment!! If he only knew that this is what we had accomplished in those 12 short minutes:
Got all three boys up
Got myself dressed
Got my oldest in the shower with a towel and orders to wash his long shaggy hair or I was going to cut it...
Found socks for all of them
Actually did cut my 6 year old's hair, mostly a repair from the job he did when he was mad at his teacher the day before...
Ordered them all to brush teeth and wash faces (although can't confirm at the moment if all 3 complide with this one) :)
Signed homework folders
Signed a note from a teacher, telling me that my second son had reached Orange.. again....
Had a quick talk on responsibility and how he was going to make that not happen again..
Another quick talk about the fact that he will keep getting on Orange if he keeps seeing it as 'Her' problem and not his.
Prepared a quick but totally nutritious breakfast for them to carry out.... Peanut butter (protein) on whole grain bread. Yes I said bread not toast, but they didn't seem to mind! :)
AND... Drumb roll.... Got them to the school before the second bell!!!!
I have to say I am impressed myself just seeing it all in print!!!
Don't even ask my we only woke up at 8:12 am......... :)